curiouser & curiouser

 "how do you know i'm mad?" said alice. "you must be," said the cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."-alice & wonderland.

& so there it is.  that sort of sums it up.  it hasn't stopped raining/being cloudy in about 5 days.  the sound of the rain pounding down has become background noise to the point that when it does stop (which typically hasn't been for more than a moment) its absence is bizarre.  

i've been feeling restless.....need for adventure & excitement & stimulation seems to be at odds with my new found domesticity!!!  i don't want to have to give up excitement & adventure for comfort & familiarity.  & i realize i don't have to, i just have to find that balance where i'm honoring both those desires.  so i think rachel & i are going to go for a couple of days over to kona-side.  hobnob with the tourists, get out of the rain, go play on a beach that isn't filled with everyone we know.  i love my family, i love my community, but i long to get lost among a crowd of faces i've never seen.  it would be foolish to pretend my restless nature doesn't exist, to just ignore or try to repress it.  i was basically chomping at the bit to go to the movies with a few of my coworkers last night, just for something different.  then when i came home & oliver & i lid into familiarity & comfort it didn't make me want to smother him with the blankets he hogged on my bed!!!  "the rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid-glvoes & the fan, & scurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go." (i feel like that often & yet i'm not giving into that urge completely!!) 

a very close friend of mine has "rat lung worm disease"  which is like spinal meningitis.  it was at once inspiring & frightening!!!  she's had it really bad & is getting A LOT better all the time with some pretty radical treatments.  she was fairly incoherent for a while with little understanding of herself or her surroundings etc.  basically reverted back to being a small child.  she's btter now which is SO inspiring, but it's one of those "realize your own mortality" moments.  (like i needed another!!), as that there are people in comas from this same disease that may not make it out.  all this from stepping on a slug.  or eating some kale fresh from your garden.  see the slugs carry it, not the rats.  it's a strange name, i know.  

life is good.  i am grateful!  

we also have rachel's cat, edison, staying with us on the art farm :)   the 3 rottweilers are less than THRILLED about that currently, but i think it's gonna be alright!  i personally am loving having some feline energy around here!!