maybe they know i've been bathing in honey. or maybe they have come to remind me, like my father earlier today, that time passes far faster than we can really grasp. can they sense, FEEL, the shifts raging inside me & have come to buzz their symphony to lull me to sleep.they gather round my altar light, buzzing their secrets in a foreign language.
i believe they already know all of my secrets, i admit that may be why they've come. their time is waning & i am to bear witness to their last song & transform it into my own breath, honor my own desires.
& when his words hit me like a bunch to the gut, another reality shifts in me. somehow i have come to care what he thinks, & my fragile uncertain being is wounded. & i revisit this weeks earlier epiphany: i want to break open their guarded green hearts & finger paint them with my messy blue passion. & i remember patience. i need not reek havok. i need not break in. i am reminded to walk slowly, softly, intentionally.
i hear her voice telling me to take my restless body, my racing mind & my aching heart & submerge it all in the bathtub. let the water wash me clean, leave it there, watch it go down the drain with a calm mind & a clear heart & a realxed body. i miss her voice. i long to hear her tell me stories. the stories of her life, of my life, of our intertwined paths & separate journeys. the stories that filled me & shaped me as a child. & then as a woman. floating through my ears as i filled out my body. words that gave me hope & perspective & took me on adventures & tucked me in at night. i crave her voice & wonder when i will hear the stories i feel i've been cheated.
& again i remember patience. i remind myself i am a story-teller now.
i fall asleep to the lullabies of bees, i dream of her voice giving me advice about bright-eyed men & sad-eyed women......i wake up & my own words fill the air with their own fierce grace.
No comments:
Post a Comment